The Adventures of Sasuke and the Magical Sharigan
by Tarto
Summary: Sasuke should be the main character of a storyline. He does have the sharigan you know.Mild language, not so mild insanity, and lots of dry humor and bad referances.May or may not include pairings, which may or may not make sense.Based off my mind and fan
1. Prologue

A/N: Lol, wtf. This is what came out when I tried to start. It has nothing to do with the story. The card thing was going somewhere, but didn't...

Warning: Sakura bashing is present often. Nothing personal. Deal with it, or read something else.

I don't own the characters. Aww, for a minute there you thought I was Kishimoto, didn't you?

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Life sucks. It's this basic fact that gets us through the day. That we are not the only ones dealt the crappy hand in the great game of poker. Yet, just like in the card games, not all the hands match. Some are worse, some are better, and someone's always going to win. It's not always the one with the best cards that does it either, a loser confident enough, can take down the winners unsure of themselves.

Uchiha Sasuke was dealt a rather nice hand; a pair of aces to start with, the two black suits. He had a two, and a seven to match the club, and awkward addition, a red king. The game had started well, until his older brother, in a fit of randomness, shouted "Old maid!" and snatched one of the Aces out of the younger boys hand. This devastated the boy, as not only was it one of his aces, but also the club, ruining all his possible plans he could of taken in life… err, the card game. He was now bent on removing his brother from the game.

"You're weak, you know why you're weak? Because you lack… your ace!"

Across from the feuding brothers, Naruto glanced down at his cards. The ace of hearts was his high, after that… well, it just sucked, a sampling of low cards of different suits. There might have been potential in those cards, but it remained hidden for now. He still looked at the bright side, having more chips than anyone else did at the table, he could use this to try and get the gain on them.

From his seat, Gaara glared down at his cards. A bright red smiling joker gleamed at him. Who the hell had shuffled these cards? The unseen dealer of Fate had disappeared; Gaara had a hunch he was in another closet make-out session with that Hyuuga boy. So this was how the game was going to play out? Well, he'd just have to take out the others, and use their cards to further his hand. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.

Naruto was the first to go, and sliding a large stack of his chips into the middle, and setting the starting bet. Sasuke flinched, but then pushed a matching stack into the middle. That dobe wasn't going to get above him. He had been dealt the better hand after all. What he didn't know was that he was really on the same level as Naruto. Itachi, the other Uchiha brother simply folded, and went to find another game, right next to the fish tank. They had the cutest little blue shark in there.

Just as Gaara was about to make his move, the door flew open, revealing a pink covered head. There was a shared low groan across the room.

"Hey guys, you started without me. Oh well, I'll just slip in at the end."

Gaara thought he felt his tuna fish sandwich attempt to reach air again from the depths of his stomach. He dropped his cards on the table and stood up rather quickly.

"I forgot to clean up my uncle." Three sets of eyes stared at him, and the fourth goggled the fish tank. "I meant clean up after him… weird...it just sort of burst out like that." Slightly put off, the red head moved to the door.

Taking his cue from Gaara, Sasuke stood up. " I forgot I had to meet with Orochimaru. He's taking me to see his ranch."

Naruto, feeling abandoned, hoped out of his chair as well. "I forgot to make an excuse to leave!" He announced proudly, only to be jabbed in the side by Sasuke. "I mean, go eat some ramen." Jab. "I mean proof read that perverted guys books." Jab, twice as hard. "Talk to Mayor Tsunade?" He rubbed his sore side.

Sakura blinked and stared at them all. "But I thought…"

Sasuke lifted a hand and spoke. "Sorry Sakura, it just slipped our minds, and we all conveniently have something else to do other than play poker with you."

"Believe it!" All heads, including Itachi's turned towards Naruto and gave him an awkward look. A strange feeling swept over them, but they quickly shook it off.

With that, the boys left the room. Left abandoned, Sakura turned and smiled at Itachi, as he had not left. He however was distracted making kissy faces at the shark in the fish tank. The pink head shuddered and backed out the room, trying to come up with something she could conveniently and suddenly do.

This concludes the prologue to Sasuke and his Adventures with the magical sharigan. As by definition, the prologue sets you up for the story to come. I feel I have done well, for this has absolutely nothing to do with most anything that will come. Enjoy.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: Bwahaha. Short suckiness. I fail at beginning things. They will be better and longer soon, I promise.

Warning: Not really for SasuSaku fans... due to ignorance on his part.

I don't own the characters. But I bet I'm one of 300 thousand who wish they did.

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For half the Uchiha clan, life was a revenge filled misery, which is true if you only include the members currently living. One can suppose that all the angry dead people would outweigh the other half. Some people just couldn't handle being senseless slaughtered as a test for container. That boy probably had a thing with Tupperware, the way he rambled on… but I digress.

Oh shoot, I just used first person, thus ruining the cool that is narrator. What is better than an all knowing disembodied voice? Oh, right… the story is. Ahem…

As I … err, said disembodied voice was saying, for half the _living_ Uchiha clan, life was a revenge filled misery. Well, that is unless you are one of those dedicated to the belief that a certain member of a certain questionable and evil organization is the remnants of a long lost member of the clan. Then half just becomes a funny and ironical description. Due to aforementioned plastic ware reasoning, this 'half' came to terms in the embodiment of one Uchiha Sasuke, or Sasuke Uchiha for you American twits that can't make that little cultural transition. Sasuke lived alone, in the large abandoned little mini village inside the village, which once housed all those angry dead people, who happened to be the cause of the drop of real-estate value. Pity, such wonderful architecture it was, if you could get over the massive franchising of the Uchiha fan symbol. It wasn't even that manly, remember, it's a _fan._ And not some big-industrial-knock-you-over- kind of fan, but one of those little dainty ones.

Sasuke had finally graduated from the academy, cause twelve is such a ripe good age to send children off to kill and be killed, and was glad to be rid of that place, having been cursed with that wonderful dark good looks that plagued the living members of his clan. Save again for those kin to thinking a certain boy from the past was still alive, despite the crushing, and persuading otherwise force of several large boulders. That is, unless you were into that sort of squashed, half living puppet look. In that case, more power to you.

Now he was only stuck with that blonde haired dobe, some pink haired chick, which he couldn't even remember her name. S-something. Almost as annoying as that Naruto kid. Not to mention their perverted so called sensei, Kakashi. Whose lame habit of being late all the time was only out lamed by his excuses. At least his fan club had been cut back, Pinky being the only one he saw on a regular basis, and he was already starting to get stronger, you know, having his only goal in life to be the utter destruction of his only remaining –again, exception, blah blah- family member. He decided to make a self-evaluation of where he'd come thus far…

Suddenly, the dull and plain world around Sasuke flashed in overtones of highly saturated colors, his least favorite thing next to pink hair and evil siblings, and he sighed as he found himself sucked into the vortex that was known to all as the dreaded flashback. From several feet in the air, Sasuke fell out of a hole in the space-time continuum, and upon his dainty little ass. The world around him was familiar, despite being in black and white. Likely cutting corners the production crew used up all the color in the flashy departing sequence, and some poor sap of an audience member took it to be a crafty indication of past events. Damn those people were gullible.

Several meters away from him, in the psuedo-mist, and among a ring of ice mirrors, him and the blonde Naruto stood together, totally getting their asses handed to them on a sparkly shining platter of Ninjutsu crafted ice, skewered with big ice needles, and served by a male that made most females look manly. He had a pretty facemask though, and Sasuke thought that almost made up for the brutal beating. _Almost._ A sigh split through the muted flashback colorless, colorless air, followed by a second at how much those effects people were really cutting in budget. Sasuke, the current one… or future? Uh… the only thing in color, moved in for a closer look. Damn, that lighting really suited him well, and he took a moment to admire that his ass was indeed firm looking from behind; despite the serving it was being given. The view had him wondering why, and not for the first time, it was called Naruto, when he was _sooo_ much better looking. And cooler. Just look at the fan club!

However, his reasons for the flashback had been serious. This was his first big fight, and he'd been doing pretty well. Okay, well, better than Naruto at least. He'd even been able to see that girly dude's movements! Right before he moved to protect his teammate and became a pincushion. That's were he fell to the ground and decided a nap would be fun. Ah, but this time he could watch and see how that little dobe had managed to take care of Barbie well he was out for the count.

Of course this couldn't be allowed, and with all the reason and logic it decided to make up, Fate pushed a button and the flash back worm hole sucked the Uchiha boy up and dropped him back into reality. Well, his reality, which is indeed much cooler than that of yours. I mean, come on, do you see any of these ninjas wasting their time reading this shit as you are? No, I don't think so.

"Damnit." Sasuke muttered, as the narrator argued with her spell checker that damnit, was indeed one word, and therefore cooler than it. "Damn it." She lost and Sasuke, distracted by the arguing of a disembodied voice somewhere, ran into a building. Yeah, he defiantly should be the main character.

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Reviews make me feel bad and update faster. -hinthint-


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